3/15 Today at work I...

Today at work I…
Went to Vegas and did some sports betting. I placed a $100 bet on a six-team parlay. You know, those types of bets that all of the stars have to align perfectly for you to win big. I bet on all of the college basketball games being played that day. 6 games, 12 teams, 6 winners. Five games had passed with luck on my side. I had correctly guessed all of the outcomes from those games.
Sitting in the sports book at my little station, vodka cranberry in hand, I watched glossy-eyed and skeptical as Duke entered its final minute against Auburn. I had Duke winning by 2 and they were down by 4 with 59.6 seconds to go. A 6-0 run had to happen in 59 seconds. Doubtful. Play resumes and within 10 seconds, Duke’s freshman stud sinks a 3-pointer. “Oh my sweet God.” Could it happen?
After the ball changes hands a few times within the next 30 seconds, Auburn finds themselves at the line with 2 free-throw. Clank! Off the front rim of the bucket. No good. Second shot… clank! Same exact shot! What a schmuck!
Duke rebounds, down 61 to 62 with 17 seconds on the clock. The teams move down the court where Auburn’s coverage seems to be impenetrable under the basket. Duke’s options begin to dwindle as the clock winds down. 10 seconds, 9 seconds, Duke passes furiously trying to open up a shot in the paint, or anywhere near the basket for that matter. 8…7…6 MY GOD, pass it out, pass it out!
Dukes hot-shot senior snakes his way around two defenders on the far right side of the court, moving behind the three-point line. A quick pass and the clock is down to 3 seconds…2… and then the ball floats in slow motion toward the basket. My heart is in my throat and I’m gripping the table so hard my hands are tingling. Before I can fully process it, my body takes over and I’m sprinting around the Sports Book, screaming and flailing my arms. I’m ripping the betting papers out of their plastic holders as I run by and flinging them into the air. Other patrons are high fiving me as my victory lap turns into excessive celebration. I circle back to my chair where I leap onto the seat and begin playing air guitar to the celebration music blaring from the TV where the players are still celebrating. I grab my bets and make my final athletic moves up to the counter. Slamming down the papers, I lean on the counter and hop up and down like a small rabbit. The bookie attendant, who has just watched my idiotic display of self-celebrating victory, looks curiously at me. She takes a pen out of the drawer and circles something on the paper…( my huge winnings for sure!) She hands the paper back to me and very nonchalantly says, “You were off by one point in the Wisconsin/ Montana game.”